AA Inter 3


by daryanaumchenko
February 18, 2017, 4:47 pm
Filed under: 2016-17

dasha_text

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1 Comment so far
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Thanks for the text.

The general narrative is clear, now find below a few comments to improve it:

-on the first paragraph and a bit throughout the text it is missing some more precise information about the site. A few figures about dates or quantity related to people, history/Jakarta/site would help a lot ground the project departure point. Otherwise it feels a little bit like an ‘opinion’ rather than an informed opinion.

– the text kept a more descriptive tone which is good, but it also make its hard to grasp the project merits. To judge the project purely on practical terms is not the point. On the text you could also write more about how you want to develop the project. Are you intending to use narrative to tell a story for example?

– do you also have a project reference that you could mention and explain why is that relevant for you and the project? You can write that in a short way, in order to ground the project further.

Push that plus of course the design work from the tutorial.
Good luck!

Comment by tutor




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